Christmas Wishes

Christmas is a happy day that I often look forward to but the way in which Christmas came this year wasn't something that I had pictured. The holidays are what bring out the joy in a family but holidays almost never come close to perfect. Two things that disappointed me during the holidays were not having any money to buy presents for my friends and family and also not spending Christmas with my father.

During the begining of Christmas break my mission was to find a job before the holidays. I didn't really care where i worked; I just knew that I had no money for presents and finding a job was the most direct way of getting money. I spent days filling out applications and attending numerous interviews with companies that ranged from Macy's to Mc Donald's. Little did I know that it would get me nowhere. Days went on and before I knew it Christmas Eve was here, no job, no presents, and I was stuck. I couldn't let Christmas go by without giving my loved ones presents so I did what I promised myself I wouldn't do, I asked my mother for money. Though I had money for presents it wasn't my own earned money; therefore seeing my family and friends' expressions was in no way as joyous as it could have been. I wanted the gifts to mean something to the person receiving it but to also gain satisfaction that the gift was from the bottom of my heart.

The second disappointment was that I couldn't spend Christmas with my father. My father has never really been a big part of my life and this Christmas he gave me the impression he would spend Christmas with my brother and me. Early Christmas morning as my family was opening presents on the living room floor I was thinking about what kind of presents I would be getting from my father. Noon came and passed with no phone call. I came to wonder about my father not coming. It was well after eight o'clock and my hopes for having my father celebrate Christmas with my brother and myself stood as an unrealized wish. That night I cried and felt so much hurt and anger toward my father not coming. At the end of the day this disappointment left me feeling as if Christmas hadn't come.

My disappointed expectations of Christmas wouldn't have been so drastic if my wishes to see my father had come true and if I didn't need to borrow money from my mother. It is hard when the hoildays are made up to be such a big deal. During the holidays I can't help but have wishes; however, this Christmas I had to face reality.